Speaker 1 0:05 Thanks for tuning in to this special episode of Jrn 306 Talk tapes. I'm Joëlle Staropoli Speaker 2 0:11 And I'm Gabrielle McMann. As a student here at TMU's J-school, I have been on a post secondary journey like many of my peers, but I've also been on a journey to reclaim my own ancestral Ojibwe culture and identity. Speaker 1 0:28 I actually find it interesting that post secondary isn't just about education for you, but also about building a connection with cultural identity. Speaker 2 0:49 On my journey, I have struggled to find a spiritual connection to nature while living in a metropolis, because most of the nature that used to thrive on this land has been replaced with concrete condos, shopping centers, and fast food joints. Yeah, Speaker 1 1:04 as a child, me and a lot of kids I knew grew up playing outdoors. And in many cases, we connected with nature in a way I haven't gotten the opportunity to as I've gotten older in Toronto, but searching for a spiritual relationship with nature was never something I thought you could do as a non Indigenous person. Why is this an important journey for you? And what makes this connection so special? Our people Speaker 2 1:25 have always been interconnected to the land and the nature spirits. There are so many teachings that can be found in nature. But I didn't start this reconnection journey until I moved to Toronto. And as I'm sure you've noticed, the city can feel pretty disconnected from the natural world. Absolutely. Speaker 1 1:45 I mean, of course, the city has so many benefits, but as someone who has always loved being outdoors, it is hard to find green spaces here. But when there's a cultural significance to the land, does the desire to be around nature change to Yeah, Speaker 2 2:00 but I do think that this city has played a very important role in my reconnection journey. Even if I feel like it is disconnected from nature, Speaker 1 2:09 since there's so little of it, how has the city helps you reconnect with nature, I Speaker 2 2:13 found a community here at my university and they really helped me reconnect by sharing their own experiences, knowledges and teachings as indigenous peoples, and the community here really puts a lot of effort and making sure that there are cultural resources for Indigenous students. And there's also just something about being surrounded by people who can relate to my lived experiences. As an indigenous person who's trying to reconnect, we Speaker 1 2:39 We actually got to talk with Samantha Williams, she's one of the founders of the garden that feed into the indigenous food waste system on the rooftop of the Daphne Cockwell complex. She explains the importance of having access to nature and medicines for indigenous peoples in the city. A Speaker 3 2:54 lot of students leave their isolated communities or their more remote communities, they come to the city for opportunity, but then they find that they're missing that connection to their culture to their families. They don't know where to get medicine here in the city. Some places sell it. I mean, I wouldn't recommend even buying or purchasing medicine. So that's what I think the program really wanted to give back to is a space for for those who are missing that connection to their communities, their families, that there's somewhere in the city that they could come to Williams Speaker 1 3:32 is half Costa Rican, and part of the Shawnee and Potawatomi First Nation. Williams's goal is to continue to forge a relationship with indigenous medicines, and use that knowledge to create resources for the community to connect with traditional ways of being. But I was curious, Gabi, did you know where to go to find these traditional medicines, Speaker 2 3:51 actually, so some of the staff that work with the indigenous students here at Tmu. They gave me a medicine kit when I was pretty early on in my reconnection journey. So the medicines and being taught how to use them actually came early on, and most of the medicines that I've used since then have been gifted to me Williams Speaker 1 4:10 also mentions that a lot of students feel like they're missing a connection to their culture and community when they move here. Even though you didn't start your reconnection journey until you moved to Toronto, do you still feel a disconnect? So Speaker 2 4:23 I didn't grow up in a remote community. But I grew up in Brantford, which is still a smaller town that was definitely more nature based. And when I was in high school, I could walk out my front door and I was like two minutes away from the Grand River. And that's also surrounded by a big forest. So I was spending more time in nature, but I wasn't looking for answers to big questions about life. Because at this time, I didn't know that nature held the answers to those Speaker 1 4:52 questions. So then what changed when he moved to Toronto? Speaker 2 4:56 Honestly, I'd had a few experiences that I just needed. To heal from. And this wasn't something that I was ready to face when I was living back home. But I also didn't have a pre existing relationship with my culture or community. I had only gotten my status card when I turned 19. And that was the moment that I kind of thought to myself like, Okay, you have a right to try to learn more about your culture and your identity, which in itself, I think was the moment that the healing journey really began. Wow, Speaker 1 5:27 it feels like a lot to tackle on your own. What kind of support Have you had since moving to Toronto? Speaker 2 5:33 I think most of the progress that I've made has been because of the community that I found here at the university. I mean, I did have to make the first step of showing up to community events, and also make my intention to be an active member of the community known. Speaker 1 5:49 How did you do that? And do you remember what going to your first events are like? Yeah, Speaker 2 5:53 so the first event that I went to was in September 2022. It was an orange shirt Day event. And that's a memoriam for the children that did not survive the residential school system. There I met a girl who was actually one of my good friends now in the community. And a few days later, she and her sister Emma took me to my first powwow. And of course, this was crucial to the beginning of my journey. Speaker 2 6:18 That's so sweet. Do you remember what the powow was like? Speaker 2 6:21 So looking back, I always kind of laugh a little, because Emma and her sister grew up in community, and they had been going to traditional powwows throughout their whole life. But for me, this was my first cultural experience. So I did have a lot of questions. But they were both so patient with me. So it was honestly amazing to have people that were so willing to share this experience, but also share their knowledge. Speaker 1 6:48 It's so good. Your first experiences were positive compared to some of your other indigenous friends. How is your experience moving into the city different? It's Speaker 2 6:56 actually interesting that you ask because I got the chance to talk with Emma about her own journey, moving from her small community to Toronto. And I definitely saw some parallels. So Emma grew up on a reserve in Northwestern Ontario, and her home community is Koochiching First Nation, which is in treaty three territory. And so for her growing up in a small isolated community meant that she spent a lot of time on the land. Where I'm Speaker 4 7:25 from, there's a very big, the biggest activities are going out. Like in the summers, we spent a lot of time on the lake fishing swimming tubing, just like water activities in the winter. It's also a lot of like spending time on the ice doing ice fishing and stuff like that. So I spent a lot of time learning about the area that my family originated from, it's very important for my family to pass down like tradition and teachings. So the summer before I moved here, I was really like, I was trying to hit powwows as much as I could, like, I was like trying to, you know, go out fish with my friends go out and just like be one with nature, go hiking and stuff like that, and just try and like, be surrounded by it. And that grew my appreciation for it a lot more. Speaker 1 8:10 Emma talks about trying to be around nature as much as she could before she moved here. Was that something you did as well? No, Speaker 2 8:17 actually, I was more centered around trying to spend time with all of my cousins, siblings and family, especially because we grew up really close. So I wasn't even thinking about trying to be around nature all the time. And maybe it's because Emma's family actually placed so much value on connecting to the land that are focused is kind of different. With Speaker 4 8:40 my dad being a drum keeper, I spent a lot of time participating in the power circle when I was younger, and trying to learn and stay grounded in my community. But it also as soon as I moved here, the disconnect felt immediately like I could just I could feel it inside of me that I definitely had to make some adjustments in my life now that I was I was living here away from not only just like, my family, but also like my community that I've grown up in my entire life, all these ceremonies that were always just like, regular things I was seeing every few days, weeks, months, you know, and it was something that I now had to kind of go out and search for Speaker 2 9:22 because Emma was so closely connected to her culture. It was really interesting to hear that she felt that disconnect right away. Because for me, I didn't feel that disconnect until I started to learn the cultural perspective around nature. But like Emma, I've found a way to balance my life here in the city with my traditional teachings. Unknown Speaker 9:43 But the journey hasn't stopped has it? Speaker 2 9:45 I don't think the journey ever really stops. Recently I got the opportunity to speak with knowledge carrier Amy Drejarleigh, who is also a staff member here at Tmu in the office of indigenous initiatives and The lead facilitator for rebirth teachings. But I know her as Auntie Amy. And my chat with Amy gave me a new perspective on building a connection with nature while living in the city. The Speaker 5 10:12 one thing that helps me to get by in the city was that idea that if there's a blade of grass somewhere, then I'm fine, I can put my tobacco there and just go and like, sit with a little blade of grass. And it'll be fine. Because I think that's really important to know that Earth is still Earth, like the it's still earth, no matter where you live, or what's going on around you. And if you're really focused and devoted to that, is your faith in creation, that even the grasses and the little seeds find life finds a way, Amy Speaker 1 10:56 talks about finding the ability to connect to nature, even through one single blade of grass. But you said you struggled to find that connection here in the city? Why do you think that is. Speaker 2 11:05 So when I'm looking to connect with nature, I still do go to some of the smaller parks near my house. But I guess I see nature in the city as a force that we've tried to shape and control. So I don't really feel like I can connect with it in its true form. And Speaker 5 11:22 so I don't, I don't want it to be like urban versus rural or nature versus urban. It's all Earth is all an all the like steel in the glass and the concrete is all Earth. And so I see them as the hills or the valleys or the cliffs that they have come from, they wanted to live in this different way. So that we've got mountains, over by the lake, in the form of condos, right, they wanted to live like that. So I don't see them separate from the bush. I see them as part of the bush as part of nature in a different format. Speaker 2 12:04 So when I heard Amy shared this perspective, I actually had like a wow moment, because this was something that I'd never heard before. And I guess I just saw the bad and how the city had impacted the land. But I do agree with Amy, that everything in creation has a spirit. And so we do have to learn to connect with them in whatever form they come in. Yeah, Speaker 1 12:24 absolutely. It's such a good way to approach respecting nature and living in the city. She explains forging a connection to our environment that otherwise would be overlooked, as buildings and concrete are not usually conventional ways of receiving the nature around us. So then, based on this, how do you think your relationship to nature has changed over the past two years. Speaker 2 12:45 So I think I've just learned to show gratitude for the land and nature, both through ceremony and prayer. Because in our teachings, we learn about all of the gifts that Mother Earth provides for us. So my relationship with the land community and culture is really just a journey that I'm thankful to be on. I get to look at life in a beautiful way, by healing not only the trauma that I've been through, but also just shaping the way that I look at the world around me. Something that really shaped my journey was when I did my first sweat lodge through the indigenous community here at Tmu. Can you explain what a sweat lodge is? Yeah, so it's a ceremony that has been in community for a long time. And they're used for multiple purposes. But the one that I participated in was a healing sweat. So you start by entering into a tent like structure that we refer to as mothers will. And you crawl in on your hands and knees, and then you sit in this enclosure with a few other folks. So for mine, it was the conductor to help her and a few others. And then after we're all in we welcome in the grandfathers or rocks as you might know them. And these grandfather's have been sitting in a fire to heat them up. So after they're all welcomed into the lodge, the conductor will close the small door and it gets pitch black like you cannot see the person next to you. Then they will pour steaming water with medicines on the grandfather's and steam starts to rise. And it starts to get really hot, and your body temperature rises and you start sweating out any negative feelings or trauma. Speaker 1 14:24 That sounds like a really special experience. How long does a ceremony like this usually last? Speaker 2 14:29 So there are multiple rounds. But it really depends on the person so you're allowed to leave whenever it feels right for you. And in each round, there are more grandfather's coming in. So it gets even hotter. And I remember for mine, I was in the second round and my heart started beating so fast. And it felt like my blood was boiling. And I just kept thinking to myself, I'm gonna pass out. So I buried my entire face in the mud to try to cool down and it worked a little but a really special moment was when we sang the water song. So immediately after we sang the song, it started pouring rain. And afterwards, I just remember crawling out, and the ground was wet and muddy. And then the rain hit my skin. And it truly just felt like a moment of rebirth. Speaker 1 15:23 Wow. So what was that moment of rebirth like? And did it impact your approach to reconnecting with nature at all? Speaker 2 15:30 I think that moment was really just about finding healing through ceremony, and also just being one with the natural world. Because even though this was taking place in the city, I just felt such a deep connection to Mother Earth and the spirits of nature. So for me, this was really an unforgettable experience where I almost felt like I was in direct communication with nature. Speaker 1 15:53 That sounds like a beautiful way to connect with nature in this urban setting. It's nice to hear about the positive experiences with this journey you've continued to have, even if we're in a less than ideal setting, you said this journey never ends. So what's next? Speaker 2 16:10 Yeah, so I'm actually really excited. In the upcoming months, I'm hoping to do a traditional fast, which will take place out in the bush. And it's all about learning from nature and spirit throughout the process. And I also think that this will be one of the most challenging steps that I've taken, as it's not meant to be easy because lighting that fire and having that reconnection isn't about being easy to take strength and resilience, Speaker 1 16:40 you've come a really long way. And honestly, it's really interesting to hear where you started, and now where you've ended up. I really can't wait to see what you do next. Thank Speaker 2 16:49 you. The journey itself has been both challenging and rewarding. I think that the individual that I'm becoming has really been shaped by this path of reconnection. And the support that I've received here from the indigenous staff and students at Tmu is really what has continued to guide me. Speaker 1 17:08 I love that you said that because it still feels like an ongoing journey for you. And the fact that it continues to shape you I think is a sign you're on the right path. Thanks for tuning in to this special episode of JRN 306 Talk tapes. I'm Joëlle Staropoli Unknown Speaker 17:24 and I'm Gabrielle McMann. Transcribed by https://otter.ai