“The Weight of Loss” Transcript [Foliage by Gavin Skinner fades in and out] LK: My name is Lyle Kruger, and this is The Weight of Loss. RK: “...my boss had made a meeting with me at 10, which was unusual, because he was kind of ignoring me for a while, which was another clue that I may be seeing changes coming.” [Green Pea Soup by Mikhail Galkin fades in and out] LK: Job loss is a universal experience, one that Ruth Kruger experienced for the first time at the age of 52. She also happens to be my mother. Ruth is a seasoned professional, having navigated through diverse roles across different companies. RK: “I've had a 25 to 30 year career in marketing and business development and communications. So I’ve marketed everywhere. Anything from laser eye surgery; to Sensodyne toothpaste; to products that are used to moisturize and beautify the body; to ER drugs.” LK: In September of 2011, Ruth left her previous job to join VitalAire, an oxygen service company. She was eager to join this new job because she was getting a lot of perks that she didn’t at her previous company. She was getting a higher salary, an improved job title, and was getting the opportunity to be a part of a leadership team. For nearly seven years, Ruth flourished in her role as VP of Marketing at VitalAire. Then, the role started feeling a little stale, as jobs sometimes do. RK: “We do a marketing plan and you sort of execute it throughout the year and you do your financials and then you kind of reconcile and do it again. So after six or seven cycles of that, I kind of thought, well, what's next? What can I do that's interesting? And what I did notice is that in the company, the people who got the most respect were the people who were managing actual businesses versus people that are managing a functional area, like I was in marketing.” LK: So, in June of 2018, Ruth pitched a new role to her bosses at VitalAire. In this role, she would identify new companies to buy. VitalAire accepted her idea, and they changed her title to VP of New Business. Ruth was initially thrilled, but as the months went by, she began to miss the familiar rhythm of her old job. She was struggling with direction and didn’t know which way she was supposed to go. In October of 2018, Ruth was called into a big meeting with her bosses. RK: “...and they were not very impressed with the progress that we had made towards working on a strategic plan to buy new businesses, but there was no specific feedback given. It was just expected that you are going to write up these plans and pitch these businesses with absolutely no guidelines or framework.” LK: Over the next few months, she tried to do what they wanted, but she always had in the back of her mind that she wasn’t doing a good job. Ruth knew the writing was on the wall following that meeting, and on a fateful day in June of 2019, almost eight years after she was first hired, Ruth was let go. RK: “I think it was a Tuesday morning and I had an appointment to have my car looked at, to have my car fixed, and I made the appointment early at seven o'clock, but the car place took forever, and I got really upset…” [Car blinking sound effect fades in and out] RK: “...and so I made it into work at like 9:15. And my boss had made a meeting with me at 10, which was unusual, because he was kind of ignoring me for a while, which was another clue that I may or may be seeing changes coming.” [Green Pea Soup by Mikhail Galkin fades in and out] LK: Joey Tepperman is a 26-year old recent engineering grad. He’s also my cousin. In May of 2020, Joey took a job as a software engineer at Canadian e-commerce giant Shopify. It was a few months into the COVID-19 pandemic, so everyone was stuck working at home. JT: “...given the circumstances of COVID being there and like remote work being like the only safe thing that you can really do around that time, like I think they really excelled in that environment to in like, still keeping a company culture…” LK: Joey was enjoying the job, the numbers were great and he was being given more and more responsibilities. Despite multiple rounds of layoffs during his time there, Joey felt safe. However, on the third anniversary of his hiring, May 4, 2023, he started to get suspicious. JT: “I had a meeting scheduled that day, that was only like 15 minutes long, with my boss's boss, who I had met with I think like the week before or the week before that. I saw that the meeting was scheduled by transition-service@shopify.com, so then that was like, oh shit, does that mean I'm laid off…” LK: Even if there are still hints here and there, nothing will prepare you for the moment that you lose your job. This rings true for both Ruth and Joey. RK: “I went into his office, and basically he told me they were letting me go. And there was a human resources person there from the Montreal company. And she talked to me about the terms of being let go. [Ringing noise fades in and out] I kind of listened, I went to my office, I packed up some things, they left me alone to pack up some things, and I left for the day.” JT: “I had that meeting with my boss's boss, which I actually felt very bad for her because I think she had like, non stop just 15 minute meeting after 15 minute meeting telling people that they were like, laid off and like, sort of reading through a script of all the legal things they had to say…” [When Words Fail by Darren J. Benjamin fades in] RK: “...Immediately I probably felt quite cold and disconnected and felt like I was kind of seeing the world through, looking down on myself at having this experience, I wasn't actually feeling it yet…in a little bit of a way, I felt a bit of relief because I was feeling a lot of pressure in the job and I felt like I wasn't doing a great job. And I wasn't really fulfilling expectations, although the expectations were totally not laid out…” [Green Pea Soup by Mikhail Galkin fades in and out] LK: Dan Berlin is a career consultant at Lee Hecht Harrison Knightsbridge, an outplacement support service, which is a service that helps newly let go employees with things like interviews, networking, and navigating the job market. He strongly believes that ‘fit’ is an important factor to consider when trying to find a new job. Dan’s always on the go, so be prepared for some rocky audio quality. DB: “...we each have our own unique definition of what a good fit is, and working with people to really help them deep dive and take some time to assess what it is that they want, what it is that they'd like to do, what they're passionate about doing, and then how that aligns with what's important to them at this stage of their careers.” LK: It took about 6 months for Ruth to find her right fit. Now she works at the Toronto Dementia Research Alliance, taking care of knowledge translation and stakeholder engagement. Although her salary is not as high as it used to be, doing meaningful work to help with dementia research makes it all worth it. RK: “I have much less responsibility than I used to and kind of less corporate BS. So what I enjoy is just producing, being able to talk about what I'm doing, being able to interact with a lot of people…” LK: Meanwhile, Joey has joined the real estate tech startup Doormat, which was started by his good friend from his job at Shopify, Rob. JT: “Because the founder of a company came from Shopify, and was an engineer like me, he's brought over a lot of the same practices, like some things culturally too… in terms of like the tech stack that we use, like the technologies that we use to build a product, a lot of those are similar…” [Green Pea Soup by Mikhail Galkin fades in and out] LK: These days, Ruth lives a simple life. She works at home 4 days a week, and her daily routine remains fairly consistent. RK: “I walk downstairs, the first thing I do is brew my coffee…” [Coffee brewing and pouring sound effect fades in and out] RK: “...then I make my breakfast, which is usually cereal…” [Cereal pouring into bowl sound effect fades in and out] RK: “…and then depending on how I feel, I'll either read the paper, or I'll start working right away.” [Typing sound effect fades in and out] RK: “And then after a while, I will go and brush my teeth and sort of wash up a little bit and get ready for the day more formally, and either put on sweatpants if I'm working at home, or workout clothes, if I'm going to work out sometime during the day.” [Exercise bike sound effect fades in and out] RK: “...and just work most of the day, but allowing myself some breaks here and there. It's really very nice to work at home.” LK: This career transition process was greatly humbling for Ruth. It allowed her to experience profound growth, both in her professional life, and her personal life too. RK: “I'd let go of many people and perhaps I didn't always have the empathy that I should have. I also had bosses let go before, a few times in other jobs, perhaps didn't have quite the level of empathy that I could have and should have. And having experienced that myself, it's quite, quite emotional, I'd probably have more empathy next time, if that happened to someone around me. And it's probably just made me a little bit more of an empathetic person, in terms of a co-worker, and maybe even in my personal life.” LK: Ruth’s growth was a journey towards becoming a more empathetic, whole person. Joey’s was a lesson in being more cautious when looking for his next job. JT: “In terms of like, for the rest of my career, could I see myself working at another big company or company of that size? Again, like possibly. But I would be a lot more hesitant. And I would be a lot more sort of careful to do my research into the company culture and like, what it's really like to work there, not just what like the way they make it look from the outside.” LK: According to Statistics Canada, roughly ten per cent of Canadian employees are laid off each year. Almost no one is safe, and Ruth certainly knows this. While she is uncertain of her future, one thing she knows for sure, is that she enjoys what she currently does. She’s at peace with that. RK: “I'm sort of toggling between do I try to get more senior roles in this new world that I'm in? Do I try to get more contracts at the level that I'm at? Do I retire? You know, all those things are going through my mind, if I could get a permanent job at the level that I'm at, I probably would stay and do this kind of work.” [Green Pea Soup by Mikhail Galkin fades in] LK: Ruth’s story is one of loss, sadness, insecurity and uncertainty. It’s also one of personal growth, fulfillment and hope. It encapsulates the experience of being laid off, and encapsulates the weight of loss. [Green Pea Soup by Mikhail Galkin fades out]