0:05  
Hi, I'm Alexia. I'm Tiana, and welcome to our first episode of We'll Cry If We Want To. 

0:12  
In this podcast we'll be discussing all the things that drive us crazy, celebrating people that are full of emotions and getting real about topics such as female empowerment and mental health. 

0:21  
And of course, we have to include some girl talk. 

0:24  
So in our pilot episode, we're digging deep into a topic, we feel isn't talked about enough. 

0:29  
Mental health is something that is close to both of our hearts. Last year, I had a really low point with my own mental health. My anxiety and depression were at an all time high. I found it really difficult to focus in school and instead of looking forward to journalistic assignments, they would cause you what felt like unbearable anxiety. 

0:46  
And for me, a few months ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety. So dealing with that and starting in my third year of university was super difficult. Learning new journalistic concepts, as well as learning how to cope with my anxiety was an overwhelming task, but at the end, it gave me so much strength. So today, our episode focuses on mental health in the journalism industry. We got the chance to speak to two lovely ladies, Lexi Benedict, a fellow journalism student and mental health journalist, Patricia Tomasi. 

1:15  
So he got the chance to visit Lexie in her home and she bravely spoke about our own struggles with mental health. 

1:20  
Being a busy university student studying journalism, Lexi also tells us how she thinks j-schools can better prepare their students for the stress that comes with the job by putting more emphasis on self care and good mental health practices.

1:37  
Hey, come in, come in. Hi, I'm Lexi Benedict. Basically a typical morning when I'm feeling down, I usually don't want to get out of bed. It's usually really difficult. I usually like to keep my blinds down. I'll hit the snooze button a million times.

1:56  
On the topic of getting out of bed. Alexia, do you ever have trouble getting out of bed? 

2:01  
Yeah, I definitely have mornings when I find it difficult to get out of bed. So I can relate to what Alexi's saying, When I find it difficult to get out of bed, I know that the day isn't going to be a very productive one. 

2:11  
Yeah, for sure. Sometimes it feels like staying in bed is the only cure for one of my anxiety attacks.

2:16  
I felt the symptoms in grade 11 and then in grade 12, I was diagnosed with depression. So that was December 2015 to January and that was because I went to the doctor and I told him how I was feeling. And that was like the first thing he said I had, which was clinical depression. So then he sent me to the hospital because I would always have like mental breakdowns. And then it was last year, where I decided to go on medication after like having another hospital visit. I didn't even know what was going on in my own head. Like I had no idea like what depression or anxiety was. When my doctor told me I was so shocked, because I just honestly, like, it never occurred to me, because I feel like no one's ever educated on it.

2:58  
Yeah. And I was just gonna say, as Tiana and I have had similar experiences with, I'm not the exact same but we both had experiences with kind of anxiety and depression. And do you feel that our program has talks about mental health enough? Or do you feel like you have connected with other people through our program about it?

3:19  
In terms of connecting with people in our program that have mental health, you know, like, that suffer with mental health issues, I feel like our program has been really good, Because I feel like we're all kind of the same, where we all talk about everything. You know, we're like, really vocal people. And we're very opinionated people and we're very passionate people. So I feel like because mental health is something I'm very passionate about and I write about it, I talk about it, I've been so connected with people who like feel the exact same way. So it's kind of nice to have, like, a network of people, whether it's through like Instagram, or like seeing them in the hallway. It's kind of nice to just be like, Oh, I know that you're going through it too.

3:52  
So I feel like my experience at Ryerson has prepared me really well for a job in the field when I graduate. But I really personally don't think that we are talked to enough about mental health and the effects that are that the industry can have on our mental health. And what do you feel? How do you feel about that? Also, being a journalism student.

4:14  
Honestly, there's one thing about our program that obviously we can't complain about, because it is the industry and that it's stressful, like having so many things to do. And yes, it's part of the job, but I just feel like no one has prepared us in terms of dealing with it. So a personal experience, it was actually my first experience dealing with, you know, mental health and how it affected me through journalism would be in first year I was dealing with a lot of stuff, you know, like moving away to Toronto and just kind of being on my own and living with roommates. So my first article I wrote about my experience living in downtown and how it affected me and how it made me feel mentally. Which wasn't a good place. So this is the article it's actually still up. So if you want to just come over here, so it literally says stop victimizing yourself when you sat there and let it happen. Maybe you could have even written her a letter clearly you enjoy writing more than talking. When literally, I was just talking about my experience and nothing bad was said.

5:10  
So obviously, it's a troll. Yeah. 

5:12  
So I just find that like, you know, trolls in general just give me really bad anxiety when it comes to me publishing anything up to today. 

5:20  
And that's something that kind of comes with, like our job. 

5:22  
Yeah. And it terrifies me for the actual industry, because I know there's going to be trolls out there and journalists just face so much hate in general. And this person, they actually still comment on a ton of my articles up to today. Overall, I feel like mental health is probably like one of the big things that journalists that are entering the field or even in the field just starting out, should be really educated on because it just it's it's really scary world out there. And I mean, we're reporting on things that are really scary and not finding a job is probably one of the biggest things. So I feel like workshops need to be done to help young journalists and even journalists already in the field to just figure out how to cope with all these issues in a way that saves their mental health.

6:07  
Next, we have the pleasure of speaking to Patricia Tomasi. Patricia was a former broadcast journalist and is now a mental health advocate. After her own experiences with mental health, she has decided to focus her journalism around it. She currently writes regularly for the Huffington Post and freelances for other publications as well. Unfortunately, she lives in Barrie, so we didn't get to meet her face to face and did a phone interview with her instead. But to make her even more awesome, she's also a graduate from Ryerson's j school. And here's what she had to say,

6:39  
And my experience with stress in the newsroom, I can give you I can give you an example, when I moved to Vancouver, when I was in my early 20s, so not too long after graduating. I was hired by a major television station right away. I was doing live hit on topics I had no idea about because I didn't know anything about Vancouver and BC. I was you know, relatively new just out of the gate. I found it really stressful because I felt like I was really just thrown into the fire. I would have liked to gradually gone up the the levels of I don't know, whatever, you know, if there are levels to becoming a reporter working at a major station. I didn't ask for help, then we're talking about about 15, even 20 years ago, so the conversation around mental health really wasn't there. So I didn't even I actually didn't even know what kind of mental health issues I had at the time. So I didn't ask for help. The I wouldn't even think that there would have been any help. It's not like how it is today. And even though today, we still have a lot of work to do, you know, imagine back then, it wasn't like you could I could just turn to my coworker and say, oh, I'm having anxiety today or I had a panic attack. They would think I was crazy and would have to you know, I would have to go into a mental institution.

8:09  
Patricia also talked to us about what she thinks journalism schools should incorporate for their students.

8:15  
A unit, a section or a course on, you know, mental health and journalism. How to take care of your mental health when you're a reporter because, you know, sometimes you're working longer hours or the stress of the news, breaking news. Having to have your sources know the time deadlines. So I think I mean, I didn't have any there was absolutely nothing in the curriculum when I was going to school, but I think that would be a fantastic addition to journalism program.

8:51  
Lexi and Patricia both touched on this. But Tiana, do you think that having workshops or courses about mental health and how we can cope with it as journalists would be a good addition to the program? 

9:01  
Yeah, definitely. I think it would benefit all students, regardless if you struggle with mental health or not. 

9:07  
Well, I think we've heard a lot of different interesting thoughts and perspectives today on the journalism industry and mental health. Although there's work to be done, we're definitely getting there. 

9:17  
So that's all for today. Thanks for tuning in to our first episode. 

9:20  
And make sure to catch us next week as we dive deeper into the world of mental health. 

9:25  
And remember, you can cry when you want to.